"Waiting to Awaken"

I glide through my days

as I did in childhood dreams:

With arms at my sides and

eyes wide yet unfocused,

floating aimlessly

over everyone's heads and

wondering where I might land.

Seldom did I feel a part of

the bustle around me then,

in those recurring night flights;

as I feel detached now, too, in

my grown-up world.

I hold my breath as I hover,

looking down upon my life and

the people reaching into it.

I sense the sorrow and

yearning in my lover's

questioning gaze as I

float just beyond his grasp.

I see urgency in the

eyes of my children

as they hold their hands out

for mine, begging me to anchor.

Yet, despite the claims upon

my heart they each truly own,

I cannot bring myself to

come down from the safety of

this lofty plane that I've created

and floundered in for so long now.

I'm not sure I remember how -- or

if I ever knew, even in my

little girl dreams.

I think I simply

waited to wake up.

I think I'm doing it

still.

by Julie Remke, 12/27/98